The Codger's Lament

Hello, and welcome to the website of C P Beahan, the author of The Codger's Lament!

About Me

I have always been interested in poetry, ever since I was a child. When given a piece of writing to do at primary school if we were allowed the option of choosing poetry format I would always choose that option with varying degrees of success.

As I grew into adolescence this interest stayed with me and I continued to write poems at every opportunity. I thought I was unique and rather cerebral in my efforts. Of course by this time the poetry was always blank verse and often focusing on the morbid, reflecting all that teenage angst I suppose. Then, one day, I read an article by Keith Waterhouse in the newspaper entitled 'You know your teenager is growing up when...' And the first point was, 'They stop writing blank verse beginning: Life has no meaning'.

I was incandescent with rage! You mean I WASN'T the only teenager in the world scribbling pages and pages of highly (as I thought) intellectual poetry? I WASN'T destined for fame and fortune as Poet Laureate with my poems read by thousands across the world and used as set pieces in school exams? I gathered up the whole lot and threw them furiously in the bin.

Many years later, with my teenage days far behind me, I pitched up at one of my local councils working in the pensions department. It may sound dull but actually the work was varied and interesting, one of my remits being to set up the department's intranet site, a task which I leapt on with relish never having done anything like it before. I was very pleased with the results if I say so myself! But the point of mentioning this particular job is that twice each year we would issue a Pensioners' Newsletter. Bearing in mind that a 'pensioner' could be anything from a baby to a centenarian the Newsletter was full of interesting snippets of information, stories of 'the old days', health issues and details of interest concerning the pension scheme. We would also usually include a 'tea-time' page with puzzles etc.

One year we were producing the Winter edition and found we had a spare page. I don't know what made me do it but I suggested I could write a poem to be included in the tea-time section. Mike, who worked exceedingly hard at compiling the Newsletter thought this would be a good idea. So, for the first time in years, I put my poet's cap back on again and had a go. The result was 'Oh! For the Joys of Christmas' which was received very well by our readership. Well, this endeavour got, as you might say, the creative juices flowing again and I made an effort to produce a poem for each of our biannual newsletters after that. I am pleased to say that we would often receive letters from our readers expressing their delight and enjoyment of the poem with some even asking for an additional copy of the newsletter to pass on to friends or family, as they didn't want to relinquish their copy, wanting, rather, to hold on to the poem. This, as you can imagine, pleased me enormously and restored my self-confidence and faith in my ability to entertain albeit to a rather restricted audience.

Then, in October 2009 a bombshell dropped. I had been suffering a series of headaches and one Saturday morning I was suddenly gripped with an agonising stabbing pain in my head and was rushed to hospital where they diagnosed a brain haemorrhage as a result of a tumour. I was immediately transferred to Kings' College hospital in London where they operated. The biopsy showed the tumour to be a Glioblastoma multiforme Grade 4, an incurable cancer. I was given one, maybe two, years to live. I had to give up my job and take early retirement on the grounds of permanent ill-health. Rather than curl up in a corner and wallow in self-pity I was determined to stay positive and fight back. I read a fascinating book by Dr Ben Williams entitled 'Surviving "Terminal" Cancer: clinical trials, drug cocktails and other treatments your oncologist won't tell you about'.

Dr Williams had been diagnosed with the same cancer as me and had embarked on a campaign of research, the result being his book. He was originally given eighteen months to live and his book was published sixteen years later. To my knowledge he is still going. I followed (and still do) many of his findings and keep positive. My main regret is that I miss my job and work colleagues. However, I try and keep busy and have even been inspired by my condition to write further poetry one of which my ex-manager, Mike, included in the latest edition of the Pensioners' Newsletter, which, again, received a very positive reception from our readers. This made me think, well, if our Newsletter readers like my poems, maybe other people will too. So, instead of languishing about feeling sorry for myself, I decided I would compile a book of poems and put 'getting a book published' on the list of 'things to do before I die'.

So, thus came about 'The Codger's Lament', enhanced by the delightful illustrations of the artist K A Wilson and available end 2013 I'm sure you will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing and compiling it.

CP Beahan 2013